I sparred with a friend this week over a delicate, uncomfortable matter. We saw the situation differently and some not-so-nice words were exchanged that left me feeling horrible. Later, when the conflict subsided, I thought about the use of those words, and once again realized how hurtful words can be.
Looking back, it wasn't surprising that harsh words were used since the situation evoked dread and disgust. It was an ugly matter that had to be dealt with as soon as possible, the kind of matter that required the help of many rather than just one or two. Fortunately the plan outlined has begun to take shape, the situation is getting cleaned up, and the dread and disgust the situation created is beginning to subside.
How might I face a similar situation next time without an exchange of harsh words or hurt feelings? As I think about it, one solution might be to initially frame the situation when talking about it. For example, I could say, "This situation is dreadful, and I'm sure that no one wants to think about it or act, but there's really no choice." I could also enlist help with questioning rather than statements such as, 'What do you think we can do about this?" My early morning, straight-forward, and somewhat commanding dive into the unpleasant situation likely ignited the harsh commentary that followed so next time I'll try this new strategy instead.
As much as possible, I want to avoid dreadful, disgusting situations like this, and for the most part, we have done that, but this situation, one that involved a lot of cleaning, took us by surprise. That happens. The journey I'm on in one arena of life, a journey I share with others, is not a simple matter and there are always surprises and uncharted territory to contend with. As we travel this path, it's essential to be as kind as possible in order to navigate the journey with as much care, empathy, and success as we can. Onward.