There is much in life that is out of our control, and when we try to control those uncontrollable situations, the result is frustration and little else. So I believe it's best to separate what you can control and what you can't. This is so clear in my life now that my children are young adults and my parents are in need of care--I can help both groups of loved ones, but I can't control all that they need or do. In many ways, their lives are taking their own courses.
So what can I do?
I can be there if they need me. I can provide some needed items, care, and support, and I can create good times times to get together too and offer emotional support. In situations that are out of our control, it's best to figure out what you can do, and make a schedule to do that. Onward.