A good friend and I discussed a belief we both held dear that we've since learned is not true. We've held onto this "truth" for most of our lives, but clearly the evidence is there that the truth is not a reality--we misjudged this belief in many ways. Why did we hold onto this truth for so long? Why didn't we see the truth of the matter sooner?
I believe we held onto this truth because it matched our values and dreams so closely. We wanted this belief to be true--we believe deeply in what this "truth" represents. Yet, the proof is there that the "truth" is not a truth at all--it may be true for some, but not for all as we projected.
When you want to believe something deeply, it is difficult to recognize that it is not true. This is clearly evident in stories of abusive family members. Often the other family members don't see the abuse--they are able to bury it for a long time until that's no longer possible. The truth we discussed is not as destructive and hurtful as that, but it is a truth that blinded us to the reality of the situation.
One way to deconstruct long-held truths that do not match up to reality is to collect some data. For example, as an educator, there were some long held myths about good teaching that many held onto. Yet, when we collected data to see if those long-held beliefs were actually true, the reality became clear that those were myths not truths. So if you're holding onto a truth that you begin to think is false, you can begin collecting some data about that truth to see the honest reality of the situation.
My friend and I were actually shocked at how tricked we were by our long-held belief, and how blind we were to think that this shared belief was actually not true in many circumstances. I'm glad we talked about it because it will help both of us to live better lives with less disappointment and more positive activity.
What beliefs or truths do you hold that may not actually be true? How and why have you held onto those truths? What proof do you have that the belief is not true? We can all be easily manipulated from time to time, and it's important that we are aware of this. Onward.