Recently I realized that I was accepting less than respectful responses from some. I think I accepted these responses for far too long because I grew up in a home at an age when that kind of talk mostly related to women was widely accepted. As a young woman, the comments I received regularly were hurtful and problematic, but I didn't even realize that as language like that was heard throughout the culture and community--there was a lot of disrespect towards women at that time.
So as I considered why I felt so demeaned by a number of conversations, I realized it was because the language used was hurtful, judgmental, and biased. I also realized that those using the language were probably somewhat unaware of the effect of those words since they grew up in the same culture as me--a culture that widely used language that disrespected women.
As the world progresses, we have to educate each other with respectful, polite comments, storytelling, and even humor to help one another be as respectful as possible. As a mom, my children do that for me all the time--they've grown up in a more modern time, and they are able to help me gain a more timely perspective and response to so many events and people in the world today. I appreciate the fact that they are honest with me and help me in that regard.
Rather than be frustrated, angry, or hurt by disrespectful and inappropriate responses by others, I want to be truthful about how those comments make me feel. I hope that others will do the same for me, and I'll work to accept that education with grace.
When we don't feel good about an interaction, we have to think about what made the interaction hurtful, and then sensitively relay our experience to those we interacted with. Most people don't want to hurt each other, and most people are ready to do what they can to keep ties strong and positive. Onward.