I remember a few years ago during COVID a family member demonstrated evidence of anger. I could feel his anger throughout my body yet I didn't know where it was coming from. Even when I inquired, I didn't learn anything about this evident anger. Then it came to a head. An incident occurred and the anger was released. That led to a good discussion which helped me understand the situation with greater depth. After that the anger dissipated and we were back on track again.
People's anger is often felt before it is understood. That's true for our own anger too. Many years ago, I was angrily responding to incidents in my midst. My own anger frightened me and others. As a result I read a lot of books about anger and even discussed anger with a therapist. I was then able to deconstruct that anger and find the anger's source. Once I did that, I experienced far less anger, and when I did experience anger, I was able to better cope with it.
The hard part now is figuring out what to do when you sense anger in others--how do you react? If I experience anger in strangers, I often smile first--sometimes a simple smile diffuses anger. If the smile doesn't work, I'll typically cross the street or put some distance between myself and the angry person. If I experience anger in a loved one, I'll typically reach out. If reaching out is met with understanding and response, I'll usually respond with efforts that demonstrate my care and respect for the situation. If reaching out is met with greater anger or distance, I'll distance myself and tread more gently knowing that I don't have the solution or answer to the problem at this time.
Anger signals to us that something is not right, and we are wise to regard anger with care. We don't want to elevate the anger in any way, and if we can't diffuse it, we generally have to steer clear of it. I'll continue to try to understand anger more in the days to come, and work against it in ways that I can. Onward.