We all learn hard lessons in life. In some ways, those who learned a lot of hard lessons at early ages are wiser than those of us who were ultra-obedient in the early years. Ultra-obedient, mainstream individuals often learn the hard lessons later in life rather than earlier. That's when we have to look to our less-mainstream, more rebellious friends and family members for wisdom as we navigate the hard lessons in life.
No matter when you learn those difficult life lessons, it's hard and humbling. But, if we embrace the lesson and give ourselves time to embed the new learning into our lives, we will come out ahead with regard to good living and happiness. Just like taking a distasteful medicine when you're sick, being open to learning life's hard lessons is good for us and essentially makes us better.
There's a bit of a process that comes with learning life's difficult lessons. First, there's the error, mistake, misdeed, and/or wrong turn you make. Then there's the pain, struggle, and/or heartache that comes with your erroneous ways. After that, if you're open to is, there's the realization of the mistake, and the struggle that comes with knowing the hard truths of your life and the eventual analysis, education, outreach, and learning. Finally, if you're willing, there's the change you make as a result of the new learning--the change that essentially makes you a bit wiser and leads to better living.
I dissected one of those life lessons today with a loved one. Piece by piece I deconstructed the situation in an effort to learn. I could see the error in my ways and the reason for the error, and I could see the start of a path to new living, living without that troubling life thread.
Those troubling life threads have their roots in all kinds of experiences. Some are life ways that were accepted in the past, but now known to be harmful. Others are rooted in your own and others' prejudices. Still more are the result of spontaneous, unexpected events or the lack of good role models, support and mentoring. These errors, if we let them, lead us ahead which is good for our lives and the lives of others we live, love, and work with. Onward.