As we prepare for Mom's celebration of life, so many memories flood my mind. I want to capture those memories at this reflective moment.
1930-1959
Mom was born in 1930, and though I didn't meet her until the day I was born in 1959, I know that she always had a deep dream to be a mother. Mom LOVED children and Mom LOVED love. She always wanted everyone to be in love and she always reached out to children in countless ways. So when Mom had trouble getting pregnant while all her siblings and my father's siblings were having child after child, that was super difficult. Finally after all the preparations for adoption were complete and the adopted baby was ready to arrive, Mom got pregnant. They let the adopted baby go to another worthy family and they had me. I was a difficult birth. They tell me I came out bruised and with a turned hip. I had to wear special equipment to turn my hip and for years, I wore special shoes as a little girl, but I was clearly loved. In fact, they treated me like precious china at the start because they were so happy to have a baby. Prior to my birth Mom and Dad doted on all their nieces and nephews. They continued that tradition after I was born too.
1959-1969
During these 10 years Mom and Dad had six children. We were born almost every two years. From '59 to '65, we lived on the second floor of a three-decker in Worcester. My Nana and Papa lived on the first floor. When I was little, an elderly man lived on the third floor, and later Mrs. Eckland, a former teacher and grandmother, lived on the third floor. I have fond memories of the Pilgrim Ave years. Papa had a great big garden. There was a little play house and a wonderful swing. The driveway was wide and there was always a lot of people and events occurring at that beloved home, a home that my dad lived in most of his life.
At Pilgrim Ave, I remember Papa returning from fishing trips and giving me my first taste of lobster. I remember watching The Wizard of Oz and The Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show on our TV in the living room. I remember playing with my neighbor Monique, attending the Natural History Museum pre-school, driving Dad to work with Mom and the other kids (once we were stopped by a police officer since Mom ran a red light, but he let us go when he saw the car full of kids in pajamas), lining up for pictures at Easter in our best clothes, the Santa parties, birthday parties, the pantry, walking around the neighborhood with Mom's brigade of friends and their children, visiting the little store to buy candy, getting my tonsils out, and so much more. Mom wasn't a quiet, sit-still woman, instead she was always on the go, so life with Mom was an adventure.
In 1965, we moved to 6 Rochelle Street. I remember the day we moved in. A rambunctious trio of Eddy, Randy, and Perry greeted us with a game of cowboys and Indians and tied my brother Paul to a tree. Mom ad Dad worked feverishly to make the home just right for all of us. Mom loved making the home pretty and we loved playing the yard. We ran through sprinklers, played in little blow-up pools, enjoyed the simple swing set, the big swing Papa made us and the little playhouse in our yard. Later we played countless games of kick-the-can, kickball, capture the flag, touch football, house and pioneers. Our home was right up the street from the church, a focal point for us, and our elementary school, Indian Hill School. Mom was an active parent volunteer and our neighborhood was like a large, loving extended family. Most moms were home during the day. We came home for lunch, had Halloween parades, and biked and hiked all over the neighborhood with our friends every day. Sadly my Papa died while shoveling the driveway at Pilgrim Ave the first year we lived on Rochelle St.
By 1969, all the babies were born. I loved playing with my sisters and brothers. At night when the babies were crying, I'd often bring them into my bed to snuggle with them. I played school a lot to my siblings' dismay as they were my "pupils." We watched a lot of TV shows down in our basement den during those years. I hated the Three Stooges because as soon as that show came on TV, my siblings, especially my brother Paul, would begin imitating the Stooges' shenanigans. In the mornings, when I woke up and went downstairs, my Mom and Dad's bed was usually filled with children. Other than school, our family typically enjoyed weekend day-trips to beautiful natural spaces, museums and historic sites. We went skating, sliding, hiking, swimming, snowshoeing and biking often. We also joined the local YMCA where we went to after school and weekend programs that included gym time, swim time, arts and more. Mom made a delicious, healthy dinner every night with homemade desserts. We had a positive routine and spent the special occasions with many of our 55 first cousins, our 18 aunts and uncles, and our grandparents and great aunts. It was a happy childhood.
1969-1979
I remember the angst of the late 60's--it was a time of tie-died shirts and pants, hippies and yippies, the Vietnam War and drugs. Dad shared news articles with us at the dinner table each night. The older neighborhood kids were hanging out on the trestle. There had been a big fire in our neighborhood a few years before where several of the teenagers died. That tragedy impacted many families. All of the children in my family attended Indian Hill School which had great teachers and good traditions. We walked to school. Later we went to Forest Grove Junior High and Catholic High Schools - Marian/St. Peter-Marian for the girls and St. John's for the boys. Our church, St. George's, was a centerpiece of our life since we attended church every Sunday, enjoyed the Bayberry Fair each year, volunteered, participated in the youth group, received our First Communions and Confirmations and more. Most of the children we went to school with also belonged to St. George's.
The angst in society entered our home during those years too since the drug culture was so prevalent. Fortunately I didn't get involved. I faced my own struggles which expectations as a young women those years related to work, studies and social life. These were busy years for my parents with children who ranged from very young to college age. In many ways, each of us lived very different lives during that time. The extended family lost two grandparents and a beloved uncle. Many cousins married and began having children. My parents weathered the ups and downs, continued our family day trips, vacations, and holiday celebrations, engaged in running races, hiking mountains and some travel, and often got together with friends and family. We all started living our own lives in multiple ways.
1979-1989
While Mom and Dad focused on the younger members of my family, their work and friends and family members. I was mostly doing my own thing during these years as I graduated from college, worked several jobs, attended graduate school and began my career as a teacher. I kept in touch and was there for holidays and special events, but these years for me were independent in many, many ways. I married Mike--Mom and Dad hosted a BIG wedding for us since they wanted to include all of our family members. They let me invite many friends and all of Mike's family too. It was a big party with 400 people. My parents became grandparents during these years too--they proved themselves to be wonderful grandparents.
1989-1999
These years were marked by more weddings, graduations, grandchildren, adventures--these were busy, busy years for Mom and Dad and their six children, their children's spouses, grandchildren and friends. Dad got cancer during these years--he fought it and won. We continued to get together for holidays and help each other with transitions. I remember my whole family moving us in to our first home, the only home I've lived in since living with my parents. We had a number of family reunions at beautiful, natural locations.
1999-2009
Mom and Dad retired during these years. More grandchildren and some great grandchildren were born in these years. Mom and Dad enjoyed the free time they had and shared many stories of their adventures with friends and family. Our individual families were busy with homes, school activities, children and more.
2009-2019
Mom experienced a fair number of health challenges during the later part of this decade. My brother Paul died of cancer. More great grandchildren were born. We continued our family traditions of holiday celebrations and mountain/beach adventures.
2019 - present
Mom's dementia became worse. She needed a lot of care. Dad made a commitment to keep her at home and he provided a significant amount of her care. His ability to leave the home and travel ended as he stayed committed to Mom's best care. Family members helped out as we collectively focused on quality of life--quality of life decisions that found us at odds sometimes since even though we grew up in the same home, our individual life journeys varied in some ways as do our philosophies about what it means to live a "quality of life." We weathered this challenge, and in the end, Mom had a beautiful farewell surrounded by family. In her final minutes, the family was listening to and singing the Neil Young song, Long May She Run--a song that was a good match for Mom's lively, happy, energetic spirit and long life. Later as her body was carried from the home, my brother played a number of sea shanties that brought reverence to her good life. Soon we'll celebrate my mother's wonderful life of 92 years--it will be a sad, but meaningful time to show gratitude for Mom's good life, a life that will inspire us to live as she did with acceptance, grace, courage and lots of love. Onward.