As with any tradition or service, you don't truly know what goes into those events until you plan one yourself. I've lived a long time without much responsibility for memorial services. Fortunately most of my closest relatives and friends are living long, good lives. Now, however, my siblings and I are tasked with planning my mom's memorial service. We are getting a front row seat to what this means.
In today's world, memorial services come in many different sizes and styles. One is not necessarily better than another, and similar to weddings, birthday celebrations, and other parties that focus on one or more individuals, what is important is that the service match the person you are celebrating.
For mom, the right kind of memorial service is a traditional Catholic service including a wake, mass, burial at the cemetery and luncheon. That's the kind of memorial service we're accustom to as a family--there's comfort in that tradition.
To carry out this tradition means there's lots of planning to do including working with a memorial home (funeral home) and church, choosing music and readings for the mass, purchasing flowers, deciding who will read the readings, the helpers at the mass and pallbearers. Reserving a function hall for the luncheon; writing an obituary and eulogy; and letting people know about the celebration of life is integral too.
In many ways, preparing the memorial service takes our minds off the sadness related to losing someone you love, and instead helps you to focus on the good life a person has led. Onward.