I've thought a lot about break-up's, conflict, disagreement, and strife over time. I like my relationships to be smooth, peaceful, and positive. Yet, as we all know, that doesn't happen all the time. Our relationships often hit forks in the road where we take different paths than those we love. In situations like this, how do we keep the relationship alive--what do we do?
For too long, I tried to persuade people to take the same path as me, travel in my direction, and do as I was doing. That was a mistake, because in life, no matter what, people will follow their own paths, not yours or anyone else's. So when relationships begin to splinter because of distance, different interests, or life's circumstances, how can we continue our often long-held and positive relationships?
I believe the answer is in finding a sweet spot, a place where you and your loved one can connect. For example, my sister and I have been close throughout life--we talk almost every day and share much of our lives with each other. Yet, we live over an hour away from each other, have somewhat different lifestyles, and are caring for our husbands, children, and other loved ones. We also have a big family so when we get together, we don't usually spend a lot of time with each other. That's why we started Sister Weekend--it's a weekend during the holidays where we get together with each other and our husbands and simply have a good time. I look forward to this sweet spot each year--it's a way for us to stay close despite life's many varying commitments and obligations.
In a similar fashion, I have a number of walking buddies--we stay close with regular hikes in beautiful places. The walks help to keep us healthy and also help to keep our friendships strong. So when a relationship begins to fray at the edges, it's a good time to find a sweet spot, the kind of place that keeps you close to those you love in a way that matches your current lifestyle and commitments.
With my grown children, I'm trying to do that via planned holidays that we all take part in, and with my older Dad, I am using a regular schedule of visits that include activities he and I both enjoy. Relationships will change and relationships will be challenged at times. That's when it is important to find a new sweet spot where the relationship can continue and perhaps thrive. It's not a good idea to give up on relationships too quickly, instead stop and think about how to recreate your connections in a way that fosters the warmth, love, history, and consideration for one another that exists. Onward.