When I am preparing to give to others, I try to think back to when I was their age or in their situation. Using memories to guide my giving helps me to identify with others' needs and interests.
I thought about this briefly over Thanksgiving. I realized that the way I experienced Thanksgiving this year was very different than the ways I had experienced Thanksgiving at other times in my life. Then I looked around and realized that many of my family members were mirroring my experiences of Thanksgiving past and perhaps Thanksgiving future.
So as I prepare for the Christmas holiday, I am bringing back my memories of Christmases past.
Years 0 - 12
As a child, Christmas filled me with exciting anticipation. I could feel those butterflies in my stomach as I anticipated holiday parties, surprises, gifts, and fun. As a child, I loved all the decorations in our house. I often laid on the couch underneath the Christmas tree and simply relaxed under the colorful lights. I also played with the tree a lot by manipulating ornaments and characters throughout the tree while I created Christmas-related stories.
As a child, I enjoyed watching and helping my mom make Christmas cookies. In school and at home, we made lots of decorations too. I drew many holiday pictures as well. My neighborhood was filled with holiday lights and our nearby church had a beautiful creche with the Nativity figures.
We played and sang a lot of Christmas songs. It was the only time of year when I faithfully practiced the piano because I loved playing and singing the Christmas carols. My Aunt Betty made me special holiday dresses and the whole family dressed up to attend our annual Pratt-family and Lucey-family holiday gatherings.
There was a school Christmas show. I was shyly Mrs. Claus one year which was embarrassing since I felt I was chosen since I was a chubby girl, but I did it none the less. We had Christmas parties in school and at CCD with lots of goodies and games.
In addition to all the Christmas decorations, treats, parties, and crafts, we anticipated the first snow and all the great sledding, skating, and snow building we would do when that snow fell. The house in general was warm and inviting, and my mom was almost always full of cheer during the Christmas season--actually she was almost always a cheerful mom at anytime of the year.
At the Pratt party, traditionally held at a home or a hall a few weeks before Christmas, Santa made an early appearance. That was a very exciting moment when every child received a small gift. It was traditionally a pot-luck dinner with Mom's signature meatballs and sausage, lots of sweets, and other delicious foods. We continue that tradition today with my aunts and cousins. Then on Christmas Eve we anxiously awaited Dad's arrival home from work so we could go to Uncle Neal's big Christmas Eve party. Mom was always super busy that afternoon baking, wrapping, and cleaning, while I was usually assigned to watching the kids in the den--I was the oldest of six and remember clearly that there was a lot of excitement in that den on Christmas Eve. We couldn't wait for the big party.
At Neal's we ate good food, ran around the house, exchanged gifts, and had a very good time. When we got home, we went to bed. I could never sleep on Christmas Eve. I was alerted to every sound wondering if it were Santa landing on our roof and delivering the gifts. I didn't want to get up for fear of not getting any Christmas treats if Santa saw me. Then very early in the morning, I'd awake and run downstairs to see if Santa came. There was usually a host of unwrapped toys scattered under the tree. I'd run to my parents' bedroom, and they'd always say that everyone had to be awake before we could get up. I'd proceed to wake up my siblings with the words, "Santa came." Most readily woke up, but there was one in particular who preferred to keep sleeping rather than awaken early. He took a lot of convincing to get up.
In the early years, it was a free-for-all once everyone was awake. Our toys were grouped together by person, and we would find our toy group and begin playing immediately. My favorite gifts always involved great paper and art supplies, so I usually got right to work creating with my new materials. After the gifts and lots of play, we typically went to church and then had guests for a delicious Christmas dinner. Afterwards many of my 56 cousins and their parents would visit for an evening get together and lots more play.
So during my childhood days, my parents and other relatives created a joyful holiday season filled with lots of happy anticipation and wonderful, celebratory events. Those were happy days.
Teenage Christmas
The teenage years as the oldest with five younger brothers and one sister were quite similar to my childhood Christmases. The only change was that I was more involved in school and church activities which included lots of crafts, gift exchanges with friends, and some holiday-related excursions with my church group including a trip to New York City to see the Rockettes Show, Boston for the The Ice Capades, skiing at nearby ski hills, helping out at the church fair, and practicing and singing with the church folk group.
As a teenager, I really enjoyed choosing gifts for my parents and other loved ones, helping Mom with the wrapping, and decorating the house. I enjoyed learning about my many friends' holiday traditions as well. I worked during those years so I enjoyed work Christmas parties and celebrations too.
Christmas as a college student
During college, we had many Christmas-related celebrations throughout the dreaded finals' weeks. It was a mix of fun and tough study and testing. Once finals were over, it was great to return home to enjoy the holiday with family members. My home at the time was a bit chaotic given all the goings-on of my teenager brothers and sister. Mom and Dad had a healthy social life too so home wasn't a quiet, peaceful place, but instead a busy, active home. Christmas also meant a break from school which typically included some work and adventures with friends--we went skiing, had parties, and visited each others' homes.
Christmas during my twenties
In many ways these years included mimicking many of the traditions my families had with my friends. My roommate and I had a great Christmas party in our little basement apartment. We went into Boston a lot to enjoy the holiday decorations and activities and attended parties elsewhere. I helped Dad shop for Mom's gifts and enjoyed holiday parties at the places where I worked. It continued to be a joyful time. Later, when my now-husband and then-boyfriend and I became serious, we began to meld our family traditions. I loved the way my husband's family celebrated the holidays and we managed to visit both families and enjoy each family's similar and different holiday traditions. One favorite new tradition we added to the mix during these years was our night-before-Christmas-Eve couple's Christmas when we had a Christmas celebration for just the two of us that included good foods, gift exchanges, and lots of fun--this was a very special celebration during those years.
Christmas with a family
From our 30's on my husband and I celebrated Christmas with our own children. We continued many long-held traditions from both families and enjoyed bringing our young children the same sense of happy anticipation and celebration throughout the years. When the children were little, Santa visited in the night and the children woke up to see their gifts. When the children got older, Santa arrived late on Christmas Eve and we exchanged and opened gifts then. Our Christmas Eve and Christmas traditions continued to include lots of family members either at their houses or ours. Every year the people, place, and activities celebrated over the holidays changed a bit dependent on circumstances, but we always made sure that we celebrated with those we loved most.
As far as gifts were concerned, we never went crazy. The gifts were always simple. In fact, I rarely asked the kids what they wanted because the budget was tight and I didn't want them to be disappointed due to financial constraints, but they always received a few gifts they could readily play with and enjoy. For some time, my siblings and I chose names and gave each child an extra gift. Later that morphed into an enjoyable Yankee Swap that everyone enjoys with a $20 grab. Recently we added a book grab since we have so many readers in our family, and the book grab is a good way to share the books people love.
The parties have always included a delicious meal, appetizers, and desserts. Games, karaoke, dancing, story telling, jokes and more are often included too. Every year is a bit different than the year before.
This Christmas
As I think about Christmas happiness over time, I can summarize that happy Christmases have always included these elements:
- shared meals
- good times with friends and family
- simple gifts
- bright and inviting decorations
- family and friend warmth and love