As we move on in years, we'll notice that our loved ones take many similar and diverse life paths. With respect to those paths, it is essential to meet the differences with respect, care, and positive sense of curiosity--not too much and not too little.
Life circumstances steer our life ships in all kinds of directions. Who we love, where we live, what we do, our interests, our struggles, and more shape who we are and the directions we move in. Some of this is within our control and choice and some is outside of our control.
How can we respect each other's varying life paths? I'm thinking about that today.
First, be wary of any kind of judgement. Judgement, probably more than any other action, can easily ruin a good relationship. Rather than judge, stay curious and open minded. There may be times when you do choose to speak up about a difference you may think is damaging to a loved one, but this takes great consideration and care. In most cases, it's best to simply accept each other's differences and be available should a family members come to you. Otherwise, it's best to let people live their own lives.
Also, people need space. When you're overbearing and communicate too much, you run the potential of severing good relationships. There's a fine balance when it comes to just-right communication and that will look different for every relationship, but it's an area of relationship health to be attuned to. The same is true for frequency of connection. In some cases, it's just right to see a loved one everyday, but for other relationships that may be too much. Finding that right frequency that keeps a friendship strong, but doesn't equate to too-much or too-little time is essential.
Listening to and sharing in a loved one's interest/commitment area is essential. Connections will die if we don't show interest in one another's chosen people, places, interests, or activities. You won't share everything with those you love, but if you don't share some of who and what you are, then you won't be able to sustain the relationship. Sharing in each other's interests, quests, pastimes, and passions brings people close and sustains relationships.
Helping one another strengthens relationships. When you can be there for another person during their true time of need in ways great or small, that deeply nurtures the relationship.
We have to respect each other's many varying paths of living if we want to sustain the good relationships we enjoy. To do this, we have to give each other the space, attention, acknowledgement, and help needed without an overly judgmental attitude. Our differences in life create positive learning, growth, challenge, and outlooks. It is just as important to nurture each other's difference as it is to nurture our similarities. We can do this. Onward.