We all have the choice to take a deficit or surplus mindset when it comes to any element of life or life in general. As I thought about this today, I believe it's important to count your blessings and focus on the good in your life rather than what you don't have. This is especially true during times of change as you can be tempted to look back and long for what you used to have or experience, and that gets you nowhere. Instead, it's a good idea to count your blessings or in other words look at the gifts you have in life today--the special people, places, experiences, and objects that make life for you and your loved ones special.
This lesson is particularly important in my family since we lost our mom this year. Mom in so many ways was a focal point of our holiday celebrations and cheer, and without her, we have to see and celebrate the holidays anew. We can do that, but it takes some deliberate focus.
How can we morph the joy the excitement of holidays past to our new reality--what can we do?
Bring forth Mom's gifts via our traditions
In so many ways, Mom remains alive in our lives through the countless traditions she maintained throughout her life. At the holidays, we continue her celebratory baking, table setting, decorating, hosting, focus on the children, and cheer.
Get outside and enjoy nature
We've been getting outdoors and enjoying the beautiful natural settings a lot lately--this not only tires us out, but energizes us too with healthy activity and good camaraderie.
Begin new traditions
A number of new traditions have started in the past few years. We now have Sister Weekend, Women Friends and Relatives' Holiday Lunch, Christmas Eve at my son's and daughter-in-law's, Christmas Day book swap and more. All of these new traditions sprung from a desire to be with one another in meaningful, positive ways.
Expect moments of discomfort and sadness
It was a dark day yesterday, and the recent loss of my mom and the losses of other loved ones in the recent past hit home. I was a bit tired from a lot of activity the day before, and that coupled with the darkness and a few missteps in the daily routine amounted to discomfort and sadness. That's to be expected and I think it's important to just let it happen and then move on.
Count your blessings
As my wise mom always said, "Enjoy the stage you're in," and to do that I think it's important to take a few minutes to simply list all the blessings your current stage of life holds. These blessings may include the people you love, the activities you choose, the places you feel at home, and the quests you're engaged in.
Maximize your strengths
We all good in our lives, and to maximize that good by acknowledging it and sharing it in meaningful ways brings joy to our lives and the lives of others. Recently a friend invited my husband and I to his home--we had such a good time meeting his friends and engaging in local activities. It was a true change of scenery for us, a change that brought lots of cheer. This friend maximized some of his strengths and shared those with us and others--that was awesome. As we think of our own blessings in the moment, we will acknowledge that we have much to celebrate and much to share--this brings joy to the season.
Acknowledge your deficits
While it's not a great idea to focus on your deficits during the holidays, it is important to acknowledge what's missing as you don't want to spend too much time dwelling on what you don't have or trying to change that at a celebratory time. Instead relish the good in your midst; acknowledge what's not so good so you can avoid it now and work on it after the holidays; and make the most of the holiday season.
Onward.