What do you remember about your grandmother's house? For most of my young life, I had two grandmothers. Nana Pratt lived across the street from us. I spent a lot of time with her and what I remember is her predictable daily routine, love of reading, storytelling, and conversations with her family and friends.
Nana Pratt never wore pants in her life and she never drove a car. She had a tough childhood life due to her father's illness and early death. For that reason, she had to leave school early and get a job to support her family that included her mom, grandmother, aunt, and two younger brothers. Later, she got a very good job and was very proud of that and after that, she met my grandfather and together they had a good life with their five children. Because Nana was so disappointed that she didn't get to continue her schooling, she made sure that all her daughters did go to college which was unusual for working class young women at that time.
Nana's first house that I knew was a big three decker. I lived on the second floor for my first six years of life, and Nana's next house was a cute little cape that included furniture she owned most of her life and a number of collections including a button collection, ribbon collection, photo and news clipping collection, and a small collection of favorite books. Nana loved to read, and that's why losing her eyesight in her nineties was a cruel turn in her life journey. She lived a long life and eventually succumbed to alzheimer's in her late nineties.
Nana Lucey lived in my mother's childhood home when I was a child. In her final weeks, she lived in a nursing home. I didn't have the chance to know Nana Lucey as well since she was quite uncomfortable during my life. It seems that a number of physical challenges in later life made her uncomfortable and less available to her younger grandchildren. Yet, the more I learn about Nana Lucey, the more I admire the great gifts she brought to our family.
Nana Lucey came from a seemingly loving family that respected education. When I look at Nana Lucey's early life photos, it's clear that the family was well loved. She was very close to her siblings. Nana Lucey married Grampy and had six lively children. Nana Lucey's mom had many, many successful relatives who supported the family in countless ways. She lost a lot of her family members at relatively young ages and was the last of her generation left when she died in her early 80's. Some family members speculate that Nana would have enjoyed going to college since she demonstrated a lot of intellectual strength.
What I remember most about Nana Lucey's house was that it was a big old house with lots of interesting spaces to explore. There wasn't a lot of organization, but there was a lot of warmth. My cousins lived next door so when we visited, we always had a good time running throughout the house and outdoors with our cousins. We climbed the big tree in the backyard, picked huckleberries, hung out in the upstairs bedrooms, and played hide-and-seek all around the house including the front and back porches, garage, and bushes everywhere.
I was lucky to grow up with two grandmothers who visited us regularly, and as I've written about often, growing up with a big, loving family impacted my life in many positive ways. I am thinking about this today as I think of my own home and what I want to do with this home in the days ahead. Originally I thought my husband and I would move to a place close to an ocean or a lake, but it's turning out that where we live may be the just right place to live while we're healthy and capable--this might be the house we have when grandchildren become part of our life. So as I update our home, I want to think about the kind of grammy's house I want.
My cousin has done a good job with this. She's created a home that's a warm and welcoming place for her children, their partners, and their many children. When I saw my cousin recently, she described the places she created for each of her children's families. They've had a lot of great times in that home.
In my grammy's house, I will plan for the following places:
- A place for everyone to sleep--this is the greatest need. Right now there's not enough space for this
- A place for a small collection of children's books and toys--books and toys I've kept from my children's younger days
- A place to sit down and enjoy a meal together
- A place to prepare and serve food
- Lots of places indoors and outdoors to play