Some of us are more controlling than others. There's many reasons why this may be true. I know for myself that the need for control began at an early age when I lived in a very busy home. I needed some control to put order in my life. Many of what some may see as controlling behaviors began way back then. I also know that my brain-style required some controlling routines. Since I have a tangental brain that can imagine high, wide, and deep, I needed to add some controlling habits to organize that free range brain thus the lists, long-term planning, and routines.
Some control adds good structure to life while too much control can hinder the good possible. As with all life ways, striking the right balance for you and those you love and work with is the ideal.
So how do you choose what to control and how to control that?
For me, I want to control the following aspects in life as much as I can:
A Healthy Routine
As much as possible I want to have as heathy as possible routine. I have many friends that do this well and I need to follow their lead.
Care for Loved Ones
While I can't and don't want to control my loved ones' lives, I can provide care in helpful ways when needed. This requires a mix of a positive care routine for some and the availability to act when needed for others. Sometimes care for loved ones is more about stepping back as well. Knowing those we love and staying observant and open minded to what they want and need is integral in this regard.
Simplicity
The simpler your life is, the easier it is to control your life in positive ways. When life is layered with all kinds of objects and too many obligations, you often don't have the capacity to control life in ways that are healthy and happy.
Slowing Down
Yesterday I made the best cranberry bread I've made in years. I thought about why it came out so tasty, and what I realized is that it was because I slowed down and took the time needed to measure accurately, make homemade orange juice, and follow the directions carefully. As I thought about this, I realized that most of my life has been on high speed due to the busyness of family life, and now I can slow down a bit, and slowing down gives me more control to live life well.
Giving up Control in Areas of Life
Just right control demands that you give up control in areas where it's best for you to get out of the way. I thought about this yesterday when a friend was sharing a life story with me. My first inclination was to get involved and control the situation, but I didn't. Instead I listened and accepted the fact that I don't have control in this arena and I have to just let my friend live their life as they choose.
We can't control all aspects of life and knowing this helps to bring that level of just right control to your own life. Onward.