Have you ever been ousted? Was that an overt act or a subtle act? Why did it happen? How did it happen? I thought about this today as I thought about a subtle oust I recently encountered. Once I named the situation as an oust, I was able to analyze it better.
Why the oust?
Typically people oust others because their behavior cannot be tolerated for some reason. I remember a person who was subtly ousted once in a professional sphere. Later that person found a way back in. The initial oust, as with most situations, wasn't totally her fault, but she did own some of the reasons for the oust. In turn, the woman used a number of smart strategies to create a new professional position for herself within the same environment. The transition was successful not only for her but for all in the organization.
Who owns the oust?
As noted, any oust is usually owned by all parties involved. Everyone has to own their part. As I thought of this topic, I thought of the hockey coaches who get ousted from the rink. This is a somewhat common issue where I live. Of course, the coaches own the oust for their inappropriate behavior, but those who allowed that behavior to continue without consequences also own the oust. There needs to be good rules, oversight, and training to prevent such inappropriate behavior. When we're ousted from a situation, either subtly or overtly, we have to think about why that happens and who/what owns the oust. For many of us, the oust in part is owned by a lack of knowledge, skill, or awareness related to the situation. When that happens, we clearly need to educate ourselves in order to avoid similar outs later on.
What's the promise in the problem?
If we take subtle or overt ousts seriously, there's good growth, knowledge, and better days to come. As I thought of the subtle oust I experienced, I also thought about the fact that taking this oust seriously has the potential to greatly enhance and improve my life long term. In a sense, it's a wake-up call that will open the door to some great opportunity. That's awesome.
We'll all be ousted now and then, and if we take the small ousts we experience seriously, that will prevent us from the big painful ousts later on and help us live good lives ahead.