Recently a friend let me down. That doesn't happen very often. In the past, when this happened, I'd react quickly, but now I give it some time to think about why that happened and what I may have done to create the situation.
This good friend is in the midst of countless life events so I suspect her actions were not purposeful, but instead the result of a too-busy and complicated life at the moment. I remember years ago when I let a friend down for that very reason. The friend needed support and I wasn't able to help mostly due to the fact that my own life was so complicated at the moment that I couldn't even understand my friend's needs at the time. And, as I mentioned, I suspect that's what is happening with my friend now--she's simply on overload.
We can't always be there for one another for lots of reasons. Perhaps our own lives are too complicated or perhaps we can't understand where our friend is at. I remember another time when a friend was discouraged with me. My friend and I were living very different lives at the time, and what she expected of me was simply impossible for me to live up to given my finances and time at that moment. There was no way that she could understand what I was doing or why. In some ways, her long time privilege was blinding her for what life is like for others. At any time, our privilege can get in the way of understanding or empathy--we all have to be wary of that and try to understand where people are coming from in any situation in order to be helpful rather than harmful.
As I felt a bit of pain at my friend's actions, I thought about ways that I may be letting friends down too. Have I been there when my friends needed me? Am I able to help out in ways that matter to my friends? What can I do for them?
We all let our loved ones down once in a while, and similarly they let us down too. No relationship is without their challenging moments. Yet if we have an open attitude to caring for one another and growing to understand each other and serve each other more, those minor upsets will be repaired and our relationships will grow stronger because of that. Onward.