As I get older, caring for my elderly relatives becomes more personal. As I provide that care I think, "This will be me someday!" The recognition that aging often brings a loss of control and capacity is a humbling recognition. While some elderly people do retain total autonomy, my observation has been that most people lose a lot of their autonomy as they age.
So as I consider my role with elderly family members, I am wondering if I am doing all I can to help them have a satisfying late-in-life chapter. I found a few good articles to guide my assessment, articles that focused on the these categories:
What does your loved one need?
What do your older relatives need? A good first step in assessing those needs is to simply ask the question, 'What do you need?" As with people of all ages, your elderly relatives will likely know what they want and need. Also make some time to observe your relative's affect, attitude, physicality, and environment. That observation will likely lead you to making a list of actions needed to help your relative live their best possible life in a comfortable, friendly environment.
Your loved one will need a regular schedule of healthy meals, medical attention, social interaction, and personal hygiene. Attention to home safety/cleaning, managing finances, and paying bills will also be important.
What can you do to help?
Consider your personal capacity of time, skill, knowledge, and will. What can you do to help your loved one? If possible, set up a healthy schedule of positive help and care. With regard to what you can't do, it may be necessary to acquire and/or hire skilled help or rely on other family members to provide that support.
Maintain a regular schedule of help and communication
As with most of us, a predictable schedule ensures that your loved one gets what they need. It's also good to keep in regular contact and break up the routine with a special event or celebration now and then too.
In many ways it can be difficult to care for elderly relatives because it can be discouraging to see how aging has changed them and limited their options. Yet, we know that to care for those we love is the right thing to do. Plus to model that care for those that love you may ensure that you too will receive the help you need when you reach that stage. Onward.