Sadness lingers as I engage with some of my oldest loved ones. As they approach 100 years, their lives have changed considerably, and I miss the active, independent, supportive people they've been throughout my entire life. I want their old selves back--I want their care and guidance yet those days are past. It's a new chapter where I'm the caregiver, not them. How do you deal with the sadness and loss that comes with this chapter of life?
As with all change, you will grieve the past, but you have to embrace the promise this chapter holds--the beauty and grace that exists. There's a lot to learn from these loved ones--in some ways, they are teaching me about life's last chapter and how to gracefully complete the life cycle. This is good.
And because they've lived so long, we have the time to bring our life experiences full circle--we can essentially say goodbye in meaningful, loving ways. So rather than wallow in sadness, it's important to live this chapter of life with as much love and happiness as possible. To do this, it's important to find the activities, places, and events that bring joy. For example, just a couple of weeks ago we gathered for a family hike and dinner. There was a lot of happiness as we walked the woodsy winter trail and shared in a delicious traditional family meal.
When I reach my final chapter, I don't want my loved ones to be mired in stress and sadness. Instead, I want them to live their lives fully and join me regularly for some happy times. I want to be like one of my older relatives who offers words of wisdom and encouragement all the time. In so many ways, she is a wise life guide to me and I appreciate that.
Life's last chapter does bring some sadness with it, but we can't let the sadness take over--instead we have to do what we can to enjoy this bittersweet chapter of life. Onward.