Many of us in society are caregivers, and that caregiving journey is a path of highs, lows, and steady events. For me, the journey has been quite steady recently until yesterday when I faced an unexpected challenge. The challenge found me registering the reactions of people around me as I helped a loved one. The people in my midst were generally less compassionate, understanding, and patient. I registered their impatience and lack of understanding and that had an effect on me.
When I was young, society was going through a great change with regard to how we treated people with greater needs. There was a concerted effort to mainstream children with special needs of any kind and there was a concerted effort to educate people about how to respect and care for those in the community that fell outside the mainstream in any way. These efforts made us a more humane society and opened the doors to many opportunities to individuals with special needs who may have lived their lives in institutions in the past.
Because of this, in general, wherever I go with my loved one, people are generally patient, understanding, and kind, but yesterday that wasn't as true--people were less patient and understanding and that had an effect on me. As I thought about and read about this experience, I realized that I have to be more mindful about the places we go and activities we engage in. Yesterday I didn't do the needed prep work to prepare for a new situation. The way I use my words and prep my loved one for new experiences makes a difference with regard to how we're treated and the success of our endeavor. I have to be more mindful in order to create more positive situations. Good caregiving of any kind requires good thought and preparation.
As a caregiver, you have to be realistic too which means you have to recognize what you can't do or what will require greater effort, patience, and forethought. And, you can't expect everyone to understand the situation. I've had to educate many doctors about my loved one's needs because while the doctors are experts in their fields, they are not experts with regard to my loved one's challenges and needs.
So as caregivers, we have to continually adjust our expectations, efforts, and awareness in order to support our loved ones in ways we desire. Like all things in life, caregiving is a journey where there's always more to learn. Onward.