How do you deal with adversity?

 In life, we all face adversity. Some face grave, unimaginable adversity and others face less troubling adversity, but adversity nonetheless. How do you stay resilient in the face of adversity--what do you do to overcome the adversity you experience? 

As a teen, I faced a kind of adversity that left me feeling discouraged, worthless, and depressed. Despite this adversity, there were many positive people, actions, and events in my life that kept me going at this time. Those positive aspects of life included the following:

  • A mom who believed that service to others was critical to a good life. When I was sad, Mom would essentially challenge me with the question, "What are you doing for others?" Mom was right. When we're helping others, we can't get lost in our own problems.
  • A dad who was willing to entertain the deep and conflicting questions and issues in life. I was able to honestly discuss some of what I was feeling with dad, and he responded with stories he knew about people who had experienced what I was experiencing. Those stories gave me comfort and hope. 
  • Teachers who kept me positively engaged in learning--I almost always enjoyed my studies and I learned from many, many wonderful teachers throughout my life. 
  • A church social group that provided lots of entertaining, enjoyable, positive entertainment, service, and leadership activities. 
  • A tough job that included learning some great skills which built confidence with my ability to do a good job in a work environment. 
  • Access to great books that inspired me and gave me direction. 
  • A strong, consistent family culture that created a predictable schedule of good meals, space to relax, social activities, and wonderful adventures in nature. 
The aspects of life that contributed to my discouragement at that time included the following:
  • General prejudice and mistreatment of women in the culture--the way women were treated was too often discouraging.
  • Not enough consideration for who I was with regard to my interests, strengths, and challenges. Some concerted cultivation would have been helpful for me. 
When I experienced grave adversity at other times in my life, many of the same life supports helped me get through those times too. In general, the loving support of those around me, engagement in positive activity including service work, and an investment in learning and reflecting about the situation and taking the steps to remedy the situation helped a lot. 

Neglect was always an element of the adversity, and mostly that neglect was neglect of people to take the time to understand who I was and what I needed. Also, not-knowing contributed to the adversity--when we face adversity, we have to explore that situation with the expertise that exists. That exploration opens doors to ways to alleviate the adversity and move forward. 

Adversity happens to all of us, and it's within our grasp to rise above that adversity in positive ways. Onward.