Now and then, I stop and think about the losses in my life. These moments are sad and unavoidable. The losses beyond my control are easier to deal with than the losses where I feel like I still have some control, but perhaps I'm imagining that.
Why is loss so painful?
Loss hurts, in part, because we miss the good times and positive impact people and events have had on our life. When I remember my mom, I think of her bright, happy spirit particularly at the holidays. She always made the holidays special in countless ways. I LOVED that. I also think about the many ways my mom loved me and supported me with that love. I miss that.
The loss of mom was beyond my control. It was a matter of age and illness that I could not change, so while I'm sad, there is some peace with that loss. We had mom for a long, long time, and during that time there were many, many positive experiences. I can take the energy of mom's loss and use it to recreate the good she did for me in my life with the ways I care for and spend time with others. Though the sadness awakens now and then, I know how to use that sadness in positive ways.
There are other losses however that are not as easy to reconcile. These losses bring with it a sense of confusion and wondering--why did that happen, and what could I have done to prevent that loss. I don't like these kinds of losses and have to simply accept the fact that those losses occurred. Despite many attempts to remedy these sad losses, the losses continue. Perhaps in time, some will make sense to me, but for others, it is too late due to people's deaths or other long reaching circumstances.
These very sad losses though have brought with them lessons. I can understand bits and pieces of why those events occurred and I can make the necessary changes to avoid such losses in the future.
Loss is a part of life. Some losses make sense and others don't. Nevertheless, we have to cull the lessons we can from the losses we've endured and do what we can to prevent the losses we are able to prevent and accept the losses that are beyond our control or understanding. Onward.