Everyone will or has faced tough topics and conversations, and we all know that you need to prepare for those situations, and we also likely realize that people deal with tough topics in a variety of ways. I'm thinking about this today as I proposed a tough topic to a close group of associates recently and there's been little to no feedback. I anticipated the lack of feedback due to the tough nature of the topic and knowing that I typically like to anticipate tough situations ahead so I'm ready while others prefer to wait until the situation deteriorates and there's no way to ignore what's happening.
We all have different styles when it comes to tough topics and conversations, and I believe there's merit to each style. If you're too much of an anticipator when it comes to tough topics and conversations, people may see you as a doomsayer--one who is always focused on the troubles to come. On the other hand, if you always wait until the tough scenarios occur, then you're often caught unready which results in responding with less preparation and positive results.
I like to put the tough topics on the table so people know what can happen and the options available. For example, my family recently met with a challenge that could result in a number of outcomes from very positive to very tough circumstances. I read a lot about the situation so that I understood what that continuum meant for our lives and what we could do to lean the situation towards good rather than bad. The team fortunately met the information with open regard and support--in general, they were happy to understand the research and know what's possible. Knowing the possible outcomes has also altered my life in positive ways, ways that make me appreciate the good more while also preparing for any not-so-good that can occur. For me, it's better to know than not to know.
Yet, there are others who prefer not to anticipate what may occur in the future--they live in the present, and enjoy their days. This can be a just-right perspective and one that people like me have to work to embrace since I sometimes live too much in the past or future rather than the present. I like the give-and-take that occurs with people like this as it opens my mind and helps me to live more in the present.
When it comes to tough topics, there's a right time for those talks too. As a mom and wife, I have always found that long car rides are perfect opportunities to tackle some of life's tough conversations. As one friend told me, during a long car ride there's no where to go--you're stuck with each other so it's a good time to discuss the tough issues. I have found that to be true and have often saved up a few tough issues for such rides. At other times, I've let family members know that we need to talk about something tough, and can we set up a time for that. Some family members are open to that idea and others don't care for that kind of conversation. Again, we all face tough issues differently in life.
I believe that when we ignore the tough topics, those situations only worsen and a lot of time is wasted. Instead when we take a logical, informed, collaborative approach to tough situations, we generally navigate those situations with greater positivity and capacity.
I'll continue to think about best ways to deal with tough situations and conversations. I'll observe, read about, and consider how others face these situations too. What do you think?