As I do my work today, I'll be thinking about what makes a quality life? There are norms in place that define a quality life--norms such as nice homes, good jobs, safe neighborhoods, quality schools and health care, nutritious foods, and pleasurable pastimes and purchases. Yet, when life is compromised due to health or challenging circumstances, the norms for good living are not as apparent--it takes more thought to identify what will make life happy and fulfilling.
I have a number of friends who have family members that face grave health conditions. These families have had to greatly alter what we would consider typical life ways to accommodate their loved ones health needs. These families have changed the physical structures of their homes, their schedules, pastimes and more to create a stage for good living for their loved ones facing these health challenges. In some ways, these health challenges have distanced my friends' from typical life events, celebrations, and activity.
As I consider the work I do to help family members with health challenges, I'm thinking of the examples these friends have set--examples of tremendous love, sacrifice, creativity, and care.
You can't do it all
Friends who care for family members with health challenges have shown me that you can't do it all. These friends have made many personal sacrifices and life changes in order to care for their loved ones. They know they can't stretch themselves in ways that leave them with nothing to give to their loved ones.
Find the sweet spots
Friends caring for family members with health needs have found the sweet spots of this situation--they've identified and engaged in events and experiences that bring joy to their families.
Learn
These families are always learning about what's possible as the world of health and medicine changes. They are always engaged in new learning.
Take chances
These families also take responsible chances in order to positively serve their loved ones. They try out new ideas and procedures to possibly positively uplift the situation.
Honesty
Rather than try to hide the physical challenges their family members face, they are honest about the situation and challenge, yet they don't dwell on it.
In many ways, we live in a country that has a lot of supports in place for families that face health challenges. It's certainly not perfect and there's more we can do, but those supports help. Caring for loved ones with health challenges impacts our lives in countless ways. The best we can do is learn how to serve our family members well and make the adjustments needed to promote the best lives possible. Onward.