Sometimes I'm faulted for being too motherly. I get that--it's something I have to work against. Why is this a reality for me.
From my earliest days I loved taking care of children. Essentially in my childhood home, I was a little mother taking care of my younger brothers, sister, cousins, and neighbors. When I was young, I felt like I had a magic when it came to children as I knew how to engage them in happy, positive ways. I continued my care for children throughout my life by working at the church nursery, volunteering at a school for developmentally delayed individuals, being a Big Sister, teaching CCD, and eventually becoming a teacher and parent.
In so many ways, I met life with a motherly lens. I was rewarded for this behavior by my parents and others since I did a good job with children. And as a child and young adult, most of my life dreams involved working with children and having a family.
Yet, when I cut up my brother-in-law's pancakes one day, I knew I had gone to far. He gave me that look which said, "You're not my mother!" Since then there have been many other incidents when I've had to remind myself that I'm not the mother or teacher in the situation. Even now that my own children are young adults, I have to realize that while I'm still their mom, they don't need the kind of mothering that little children need.
As life goes on, our roles change, and as our roles change, we have to be cognizant of what those changes mean for our behavior and interactions with others. Onward.