Living in their reality

 I visited a Memory Care unit yesterday, and I was impressed with the facility. The friendly man who showed me around the facility said, "We try to live in their reality." I thought this was a positive statement as I observed those who live there. At the facility, I noticed a lot of happiness and comfort. This was a lot different than another site I visited recently. At that site many were simply sitting around in a somewhat cold institutional setting. The first place seemed like a home while the second place seemed like a hospital. 

When is a Memory Care facility the right place for loved ones who experience loss of memory? There's no clear cut answer to this because similar to the loss of mobility, the loss of memory is gradual. You don't wake up one day and have no more memory just like you don't wake up and realize you can't walk a mile anymore. It's a gradual change. 

As I consider this gradual change, I'm thinking about the mindset that I need to deal with this situation. To be able to live in the reality of those who have lost their memory or who face challenges of any kind is a good place to start. What's it like to be that person? What does that person need to be safe, happy, and healthy? 

Beginning with my favorite questions is a good place to start. These questions help you to pinpoint where people are at and what they need:

  • What do you want?
  • What do you need?
  • What do you desire?
Those are simple questions that can be interjected into conversation, and the answers reveal a lot about where people are at and what they desire. 

Next, it's important to observe an individual's setting. Are they keeping up with their usual chores and getting the nutrition and medicines they need to be healthy? How can you simplify the environment to set the stage for successful, comfortable living?

As for the overall schedule, are those you love and care for getting a good amount of stimulation, socialization, confidence, and care? How might you improve that. 

In general, what is the reality of those you love and care for? What do those people need to live their best life at this time? 

Considering these elements for loved ones also focuses you back on your own life. What's positive about the life you are living now, and what can change to improve your life? Our work with others has the potential to improve our own lives as well. 

I'll be thinking about my reality and the reality of those I love and care for today, and as I think about that, I'll be thinking about what I can do to support and potentially improve those situations. Onward.