I've watched a number of older loved ones face their last chapters. Some have accepted full responsibility for their final moves and lifestyles and others have shown less responsibility. Why the difference?
In some cases, those who have taken full responsibility come from family lines where people lived long lives. Those individuals watched their elderly love ones make some positive, life enriching choices for last chapters. Others hold on to the life they have known for a long time even though their ability to keep up with life's changes makes that difficult.
Today I thought more about how I might support those who are in life's final chapters--what can I do to support their good living, and what might I do to plan for a final chapter that's positive for me and positive for those I love too.
As I support elderly loved ones, I've made some good choices and some not-as-good choices. It's difficult to always predict what will help best and what won't be as helpful. For example, I recently took a loved one on a long trip. The trip was too long and too unfamiliar for my loved one. He wasn't comfortable. Even though I thought I had planned the trip well, I didn't factor in many details that resulted in discomfort. On the other hand, shorter, close-to-home adventures have resulted in positive, life enriching experiences. The lesson learned was that it's best to stay close to home for these events as that's comfortable, healthy, and enjoyable.
Another action that has worked well has been to simplify my loved one's home in ways that make it easier to enjoy and live in. Less things, more time and comfort. Further, I'm now working on a weekly meal schedule that ensures my loved one has access to healthy meals regularly--meals that are easy to heat up and enjoy. A good schedule that includes housekeeping, food prep, and close-to-home adventures is a positive schedule for my loved one.
As I age, I don't want to be a burden on my children. I want to have a lifestyle that allows them to live their lives and enjoy the time they spend with me. Even though I hope to live for many decades more, I can prep for that later stage of life now by getting rid of unnecessary objects, establishing positive routines, and eventually moving to a smaller place that's close to shops, doctors, natural beauty, and positive entertainment. I'll choose a place with walkability as I don't want to have to rely on a car in my later years. I also want to establish the kinds of relationships with my children where we can openly discuss the challenges and opportunities that exist--I want an open, honest relationship that supports best living in the stages we're in.
This is a good plan.