Sometimes words and actions hurt us. We are wounded by what people do or don't do, and sometimes it's difficult to figure out where those wounds come from. Recently I experienced a wound like that, and I couldn't pinpoint where or why it happened yet I felt deeply wounded. There was no rational reason for the hurt since I had so much to be grateful for at that moment. Yet the wound persisted.
In a large part, I believe the wound eminated from the difference between the world I wish for and the world that exists. Sometimes the suffering, lack of transparency, distance, and loss all add up at once to discouragement, and that discouragement is sparked by a single comment, event, or word. I remember the words that sparked the wound. A friend called to inquire about an issue, and I could hear the sadness in his voice. I wanted to fix the situation, but knew it was a situation with no easy fix. That unleashed a cavalcade of fraught.
Sometimes we're all too aware of the sadness and despair in life, the "glass half empty" perspective many speak of, and at times like these, we have to dissect and rebuild to gain our positivity back. As I dissected the moment in time, I realized that many discouraging stories of despair, distance, and loss arrived at my doorstep at once--too many to realize the impact right away, but as I looked at each situation on its own, I could see more light.
In most of the stories, there had been a significant and recent loss--a lost son, mother, wife, and friend. Losses like these impact people greatly, and it's not always easy to know how to support people in the face of loss. In other stories, there had been different dramatic life changes related to health, jobs, and family. Changes like these affect the people around them. For example if you always had dinner with a favorite couple, and then they split, that affects you too. And then there were the recent worrisome world events related to Trump's indictment and the continued senseless, dehumanizing actions of the Republicans in the House of Representatives, actions that work against what is right and good for people. How do we stay sane in a country that allows murder by guns to be the single greatest killer of children? That's simply gross.
Yet, there's so much good too. Economically, the country hasn't been in such good shape in a long time. When was the last time almost everyone you knew who wanted a job, had one? That's awesome. And there are countless social, health, and educational programs at work to help people. As friends work in those programs, I hear the stories of support that are improving and positively changing lives. I see similar positivity in programs that help my loved ones too. There are weddings and multiple adventures in my midst as well--good times that I share with those I love and care for.
At this bridge on life's journey though there are countless changes, changes that have happened quickly and unexpectedly. A friend who could travel easily now mostly stays at home. Another who was a ready phone call away has recently acquired a mountain of obligation. There are value shifts too. To deal with life's challenges, some create safe spaces that negate the talents and interests they once shared, and others safely accept what is, no longer seeming to reach for different, more, or better.
Life is always changing, but at some points those changes occur more rapidly and dramatically than others. You might move along for years at a steady pace until the storm of change hits or you may have a life that is constantly changing with lots of drama.
We all hurt sometimes, and it's good to figure out where that hurt comes from and then create a new road map that brings us back to the positive mindset and embrace of life that gives our days value, love, and grace. Onward.