I loved reading Victor Frankl's book, Man's Search for Meaning. From my earliest days, I've loved the quest for meaning--the questioning, wondering, observation, and learning. When I think of my first days of questioning I see myself sitting on my grandparent's wide, wooden, outdoor stairs in the three decker home we shared with them. It was the day my brother drank the chlorine bleach and had to be rushed to the emergency room. I remember the loud roar of the ambulance, the hurried footsteps of family members, and the worried look in everyone's eyes. Mom felt so guilty that day. She questioned again and again how my brother could have climbed up on top of the washing machine to reach the bleach. As I watched the scene, I wondered about all that was going on. In a sense, it was one of my earliest searches for meaning.
There were other moments in childhood that are memorable with regard to wondering. I remember watching Ed Sullivan introduce the Beatles and wondering about the excitement on the television screen and the music that followed. I remember watching The Wizard of Oz for the first time, and wondering about the fear I felt as Dorothy encountered the tornado and later wandered through the dark forest. Probably more than anything else, I enjoyed wondering, dreaming, and making up stories as a child. Mom would tell me to "Go out and play" when she saw me wondering and dreaming for too long. While she wondered aloud a lot, she wasn't a big fan of the kind of quiet wondering, writing, and drawing I engaged in often as a child. She preferred an active life and was almost always on the go.
One of my favorite parts of college life was meeting up with friends and discussing a multitude of issues at play in our lives and the world around us. I still enjoy those conversations. And as an educator, I truly enjoyed those times when a team of teachers would get together to solve a problem that impacted children's lives--I loved what we could do as a diverse, collabortive group to create awesome programming and good care for children.
During this what I'm calling, A Summer of Discontent, I'm wondering a lot about where I am at this juncture and who is traveling life's path with me. Where are we going, and why are we headed in that direction? What can we do for one another, and how do we serve each other well? In so many ways it feels like there's a significant fork in the road right now where many whom I love and care about are going in one direction while I'm being called in another. This brings some trepidation and excitement too.
It doesn't have to be an all-in decision because there's always the opportunity to crisscross back and forth across paths. You don't have to totally give up on one path when you choose another or do you?
I thought this was going to be a summer of day tripping--short adventures with friends and loved ones to interesting local places. While that will be somewhat true, instead it seems like this summer will be one where I search for meaning as I seek the next path in my life--a path where I'll bring as much love, care, empathy, compassion, truth and peace as I can. Onward.